


unspoken

by blueful



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, First Love, Fluff, M/M, Oneshot, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:26:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23543848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueful/pseuds/blueful
Summary: The two of them can feel the air is tense, and whatever it was that Myungjun still hesitates to speak about can make it better, or worse.
Relationships: Kim Myungjun | MJ/Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	unspoken

**Author's Note:**

> my first attempt on writing astro au
> 
> and is somerhing that has been sitting on my drafts for months
> 
> hope you like it!

"Jinjin."

Myungjun calls his best friend's name as they sit apart from each other in the living area of Jinwoo's condominium unit, where the two of them are staying since they have entered university half a year ago. It is a Saturday, which means no school tomorrow, and they have enough time to do their homework even if they spend the whole day lazily.

They have Mario Kart 8 on, with Myungjun easily leading the race. They are just throwing random insults in attempt to distract each other. Laughter fills all walls of the room, with shrieks and curses every now and then. Myungjun is enjoying the afternoon spending time with his best friend, but when he glances at Jinwoo's face, his peachy blond hair makes his face ten thousand times brighter than usual, or so that's how Myungjun wants to describe it.

He is never good with words. That's why lately he has been struggling on how to say what he wants to tell his best friend for a while now. Myungjun has thought about it over and over again, but finds no other way than being straightforward. Jinwoo might think he is joking, if he decides to be unclear about it. So he picks his words carefully, as simple as it can be, and of course, he picks the time to say it too.

"Jinjin." He once again calls the name, for his best friend is too focused on the game to hear Myungjun. Or maybe his voice is just too soft because of the sudden nervousness that drowns his whole body. Myungjun decides it is the latter, since his voice has never been on the quiet side, even when he whispers.

He is about to shout when Jinwoo glances his way, muttering a short "What?", then immediately brings his focus back on the game because the race is ongoing, and he has no plans on losing.

They are on the last lap of the fourth race, which means this is Jinwoo's last chance to win the whole game. Myungjun thinks it is funny to see his best friend focus so much on the screen that he has felt a bit guilty about playing so lightheartedly. That's why he shifts his concentration on the game, now only two turns away from the finish line. Myungjun is in first place, while Jinwoo follows closely behind him. Confidence overflows from Myungjun's nerves that when Jinwoo has fired a red shell at him, he isn't able to defend with the banana peel item that he has.

"Hell yeah!" Jinwoo is now standing, but more like he has practically jumped up from excitement over the win. He is laughing at Myungjun, saying how careless he is, but that just meant he is still better at games than him. Jinwoo is celebrating, and Myungjun just finds it so amusing, so endearing to see his best friend be so happy from something that they are doing together.

Jinwoo is still jumping up and down, while Myungjun remains sitting on the floor, supporting his weight with his hands that are placed flat on floor, near his buttocks. As he watches his best friend flash the widest, goofiest, but loveliest smile he has known for his entire life, Myungjun begins to wonder if today is really the right time. If the heavens decide to go against his happiness, he may not only lose the love of his life, but also the person he believes to be his soul mate.

For better or for worse, as they have always told each other.

It has started in their grade school. A bunch of guys have ganged up to beat the two of them for their lunches. Well, it is only Jinwoo who is the target, for it is known that his family is well-off. It just so happens that when Jinwoo transfers to their school, the seat beside Myungjun is empty so their teacher had asked him to show the new kid around and be his friend. And with Myungjun, being friends with a stranger is like breathing in oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide. He has always been bubbly, always wearing a smile and tells jokes, which may or may not be funny, but people still laugh because that is how infectious his smile is. So since the day they have met each other, they instantly got along until eventually, they have found it natural to just have one another by their side. That's why whenever some kids get jealous of Jinwoo's lunches, Myungjun is always there with him.

That one time is specifically bad, they both have thought. The two of them are up against six kids, a group mixed of boys from their grade and higher. Usually it is just one or two, three at max, but they never face six kids at once.

Worry is painted all over their faces. They are boys who thought being brave is what will turn them into fine people, but they don’t know how to win against kids who are bigger than them in terms of physique and in number.

As if sensing the fear from one another, they both look into each other's eyes, see fires in them even when their knees are wobbling, and Jinwoo whispers _for better_ , and Myungjun just instinctively answers _for worse_.

The situation has ended well though. A teacher comes running after somebody from their class has told him that some big kids drag both Myungjun and Jinwoo out of their classroom. The bullies are heavily reprimanded, and Myungjun and Jinwoo have gone home without any scratches.

Since then, that phrase has become their thing, as what Jinwoo likes to call it. They have begun telling it to each other, during their trips around their neighborhood, or their mini adventures as superhero and the sidekick role playing, even before understanding the meaning behind those words.

It is one day in their junior high that a female classmate who is sitting near them as they are discussing how much of their joined allowance would they spend on the One Piece claw machine in the supermarket near their school. They are having a dilemma, because spending more than half of their money means no rice lunches for the rest of the week. But they decide on it anyway, said they'll make it through by sharing whatever they can afford to buy.

At the end of their conversation that they let those words out, and their classmate teasingly asks them, "Are you guys married or something?" that they become aware that that phrase is traditionally only told by couples who vows to stay married for the rest of their lives.

They both blush, a dark shade of pink is almost visible from their cheeks to their ears. Jinwoo is the one who speaks first, saying what is wrong with two best friends promising to stick together through thick and thin. He looks at Myungjun, and the latter shouts a quick 'yeah'. Jinwoo goes on about how their classmate is being stupid, and teases her about knowing such things despite not having a boyfriend.

They never let go of the phrase, but Myungjun notices that Jinwoo makes sure to only say those words when the two of them are alone together. Aside from that, Myungjun has felt nothing has changed with his best friend, but he is sure something starts to change within him.

The moment he has known that almost only married couples utter their thing, he starts becoming conscious of the boy he thinks of as only his best bud. He begins seeing Jinwoo's slowness as adorable rather than annoying. He starts thinking that the rice and bread combination that Jinwoo likes so much and always forces Myungjun to eat with him even though he knows he hates it, is actually delicious. All those things that he once laughs at Jinwoo for, he begins seeing them as the cutest things in the world, which makes his best friend Jinwoo the cutest person of all.

He has kept his feelings hidden, for the longest time he can. He isn't sure why he likes a boy, why he likes his best friend. He has grown afraid, because it isn't every day that he sees two boys liking each other.

Now that they are in college, Myungjun has learned that liking someone from the same sex is okay. He sees couples, sometimes two boys, sometimes two girls, holding each other's hands as they walk around campus. He has thought he isn't normal, but entering a university makes him realize that he is.

Jinwoo never had a girlfriend. Myungjun too, but that is because he has been in love with his best friend for years now. Jinwoo always talks to him about the girls he finds attractive, but he never once says that he is going to court any of them. Myungjun wonders, but never asks. He figures maybe it isn't just Jinwoo's priority at the moment, and partly because he is afraid; if he asks, Jinwoo might suddenly decide to actually ask them out.

They have stayed together for all those years. They have changed schools, their classmates have changed, and almost their whole environment have changed. Only the two of them and their friendship have not.

Myungjun once thought he is okay with that, but lately the guilt has been eating him. He feels he isn't being truthful, to the person he considers to be his partner in life, and more importantly, to himself. He feels like swallowing his food becomes more and more difficult every time they hang out together and he his heart beats nothing but the immense love he has for Jinwoo.

So today, he has decided to finally, finally, ask his best friend out.

"Did you want to say something?" Jinwoo, now setting up the next game, arranging the items he wants to use, asks his pal without removing his eyes from the screen. "What is it?"

Jinwoo has finished choosing the stage, and is now looking straight into Myungjun's eyes. It is an honest little gesture that Jinwoo has been used to doing. He likes looking deep into his best friends eyes. He likes seeing Myungjun's eyes reflect the young man's innocence and playfulness before he even does anything to brighten up his day.

In fact, like is an understatement. He can look into it for a whole and not get tired at all. He can come home from a really stressful day at school, and just see Myungjun's eyes smile at him makes him okay.

Jinwoo likes living with his best friend. They have been together since they are kids; they've moved schools together, moved places together, and just having Myungjun by his side makes it easier for him to break out of his shell, explore new things and meet new people.

Just having Myungjun is enough.

Having Myungjun is more than enough.

So when he has realized that Myungjun is acting stiff for the whole time that they are together, Jinwoo begins to think that maybe his best friend has caught on to his feelings for him.

Jinwoo has been in love with Myungjun since the day he transferred to his school during their grade school days. Or so that's what he has decided to believe in, because he wasn't sure how a child can distinguish love from being in love. All he knows is that he immediately liked his new school that day when Myungjun first said 'hi' to him, even though he hated having to transfer so much, because in the eyes of the tiny boy that was seating on the chair beside him, he saw nothing but colorful days ahead of him.

Since then, he has held his feelings so close to his heart—protected, untouched, untold. When they were cornered by the bullies he despised so much, the only thought Jinwoo had on his mind was having Myungjun to fight with him.

They were words he often heard his parents tell one another, words that made Jinwoo think how nice it was to believe in someone that much, to promise somebody togetherness, no matter how uncertain the future was. So when he saw his enemy's knuckles about to fly towards his face, he muttered those words, and when Myungjun finished the vow with his own little lips, Jinwoo's heart beat so hard his body might have mistaken it for being caused by fear, because tears begun to flow from his eyes, which had stopped the huge kid's fist from landing on his cheeks.

They were saved by a teacher that day, and the bullies never did anything to them again. They were never bothered by anyone, but Jinwoo did not want to forget the joy he felt that day. That was why he decided to say them to his best friend, even for no reason at all.

He wondered if Myungjun knew what those words actually mean, but confirmed to himself that his pal knew nothing about it until one of their classmates teased them for it.

Jinwoo was so embarrassed that day. He felt scared that it might cost them their friendship. He thought about the possibility of Myungjun getting uncomfortable around him, of Myungjun hanging out with him less, of Myungjun not telling him his most random thoughts every day,

Of Myungjun not being his best friend anymore.

Nothing of the sort happened, but nevertheless, Jinwoo has decided to make their promise more of a private thing, not letting anybody, who is not Myungjun, hear them again.

In his heart, he has already promised Myungjun his future. He already swore to be with him, to be there for him, for anything that may happen.

Having Myungjun was more than enough for Jinwoo. Myungjun was all he needed to be able to smile at the end of a rough day. He was all Jinwoo needed to feel love—falling in love, staying in love, receiving love. Myungjun was more than enough, so Jinwoo never thought of finding a new and different love.

Looking at his best friend now, he realized he could never find someone else. There was no one better, because Myungjun was the best the world has to offer. He wanted nothing but the best for his best friend, but he has never heard Myungjun mention anybody that he likes. They were always together, and Jinwoo begun to think that maybe he is the reason why his best friend hasn't found anybody to fall in love with.

Jinwoo looked at Myungjun's fingers fidgeting and playing with the controller, he thought maybe, just maybe, Myungjun's finally going to introduce someone he considers special to him. Jinwoo thought, finally, his best friend will find the kind of happiness that he might never find with him.

If that was really the case, Jinwoo secretly wished that whoever Myungjun falls in love with will treat him as special as he is as a person. That they will love him wholly, honestly and sincerely. That they will never hurt him, nor let him be hurt by others. But above all, Jinwoo wished that person was him.

"Jinjin". Myungjun called his name for the third time today, but without really telling him anything. The two of them can feel the air is tense, and whatever it was that Myungjun still hesitates to speak about can make it better, or worse.

**Author's Note:**

> i know it is a cliffhanger im sorry but i couldnt find it in myself not to end this chapter with those words.
> 
> im planning to write this oneshot into a short series tho i just need some time to actually write decently.
> 
> thanks for reading!


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